Finding Mommy...a quest to find myself

Finding Mommy....a quest to find myself

Over the last 5 years I have gone from being a stay at home supermom to a homeschooling mom, to a preschool teacher mom, to a business owner, to a career woman and entrepreneur.  My husband was the sole bread winner and I was his number one cheerleader.  This past year he quit his full time job to come be my partner and help build our business.  Don't get me wrong I love the journey my life has been on and it has been fast and exciting.  However, somewhere amongst all the chaos and the noise I lost myself.

I hadn't realized this until I was getting ready for a trip and was at a magazine stand with my dear friend Melissa.  I wanted to pick up a magazine for the plane ride.  I looked at every magazine on the rack and couldn't find one that I wanted to read.  This hit me like an avalanche.  It was at that moment that I discovered that I had become a person whom I didn't know.  I don't know what kind of magazine I want because these days all I have been doing is working and treading water at home barely staying afloat.  This made me sad and made me realize that I needed to use this year with God's help to go on a quest to find myself.  Find out who this new mommy was.  The one who didn't change diapers or run for PTA or sew Halloween costumes anymore.  It has been a bit of a grieving process for me because as much as I love my job and business I miss the mommy who stayed at home and made sure her family looked good, ate good and had fun all the time!

 I thrive in a creative environment.  When I stayed home I was always making projects with the kids and things for my home, when I was in the classroom full time I was always coming up with creative new ways to make learning fun and ways to enhance our school.  This year  I am mostly an administrator and with that comes a lot of rules, regulations, policies, procedures and RED TAPE!!!  Although I know these things are a necessary evil in business and life but I miss the days when I got to create and play all day.

I don't know where my path will lead me this year but I am excited to begin.  I feel somewhat like Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride where she needed to discover how she liked her eggs cooked and everything that went along with that.
I am happy to say that I am in a good place in my life.  I have a job that I love, I work with my best friends, my kids are happy and healthy and we are at a place where we can save some money for the future.
I wrote this post to let all the mommies out there know that change is OK and sometimes you need to take a timeout and with God's guidance rediscover yourselves again.  If you want to document this journey with me on instagram and facebook put a picture of yourself enjoying a new thing and your road to discovery with #findingmommy

1 comment:

  1. Love you so much. We all through these periods of identity crisis. Its the people around us that remind us who we are and where we fit in. :)